Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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