Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
