Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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