Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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