Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
