i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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