Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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