if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
