I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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