8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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