went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
