you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
