theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
