dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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