So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
