Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
