How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
