it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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