Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
