i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
