So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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