True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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