You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
