Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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