question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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