Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
