hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
