Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
