you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
