You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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