Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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