the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
