Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
