hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
