Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it glows. i had to have it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
