Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
