thus making me awesome and them whores
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
