Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
