just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
