I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
