so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
