whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
