girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
