I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
