we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
