just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
