Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
