some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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