i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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