do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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